“Are you wearing contact LENSES?” – Aife, Heather and Elaine
Sif & Elaine: “Rebel, rebel, rebel…”
Elaine: “Rrrrrebel!”
Sif: “Ew Elaine you growled at an old man!”
“There are three holes! Where does it go?” – Stef & Claire
“Argh! Kill the pharmacist!” – Lisa if she was a pilgrim
“Oh! I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener! That is what I truly want to be-e-e-e! For, if I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener! Everyone would be in love with me-e-e-e!” – Sif/Oscar Mayer Wiener ad
*boing* - Niall
“That’s it Cleaver, outside”
“Outside? Should I bring my duelling pistols or my sword?”
- Bridget Jones’ Diary
“What are you going to do? Drown me in sixteen inches of water?” – Bridget Jones’ Diary 2
Georgia Nicholson Snogging Scale:
¼. Kissing hands
½. Sticky eyes
1. Holding Hands
2. Arm around
3. Goodnight kiss
4. Kiss lasting 3 minutes without a break
4 ½ Hand snogging
5. Open mouth kissing
6. Tongues
6 ¼ Lip nibbling
6 ½ Ear snogging
6 ¾ Neck nuzzling
7. Upper body fondling – outdoors
8. Upper body fondling – indoors
9. Below waist activity
10. The full monty
“Logic!” – Claire
“Horny little turtle beaks” – Claire and Stef in science
“Claire, get your ass out of my face!” – Stef to Claire in history
“Stupid bitch"
“What did you say?"
“I said I had a bad itch!”
“How would you like to SUCK MY BALLS, Mr Garrison?” – Cartman,
“I’m so excited, I wish I could pee my pants” – Stef
“YOU TOLD HER!!! YOU SQUEALED!!!!” – Claire
Joey: “Ducks can be heads, cos ducks have heads!”
- Friends
“I’m constantly being rung by my grandmother’s handbag” – Lisa
“‘I had to jump from the top deck of the cruise ship into the sea, with both my legs on fire. That is not a holiday.’ Where do they go, these nutters?” – Peter Kay; Lisa, Emma & Claire
“Will you be my leaning stick?” – Lisa & Claire
“Suck my balls!”
“Present them.”
“What?”
“You told me to suck your balls, and I said present them.”
“That’s just what Mr. Garrison would have said…”
-
“Ninny!” – Lisa and Jenny
“Random” – Everyone, ever.
“Strong Xandir!” – Drawn Together
“Reverend, I’d like to talk to you about the flower arranging committee” – Keeping Mum
“Cheese!” – Stef
“Ooh-ee-ooh” – Stef & Claire in English
“Bloo-bee-bloo-bee-bloo-bee!” – Claire
“Oh shut up! You stupid baby in the sky!” – Stef & Claire
Eddie: “Inside me there is a skinny person screaming to get out”
Patsy: “Just the one?”
- Absolutely Fabulous
“Ah! The messers become the messees!” – Friends; Stef & Emma
Mr. Ellis: “Okay, any volunteers?”
*silence*
Mr. Ellis: “Anyone at all??”
*silence*
Sif: “Hey Stef! You’re form captain!”
Stef: “Mr. Ellis! I’m form captain!”
- CSPE
“No! Don’t do that! It’s over so quickly!” – Jen about ‘highlighting’
“Bitch… please!” – Sif
Jen: “Why?”
Sif: “Why not?”
“Stef! Are you praying?” – Jen & Sif
“What is this? Halloween?” – Keeping Mum
“There’s your Messiah! There’s your Jesus!” – Stephanie
“The wishing tree” – Stef & Emma
“No! Classics is like classical music and Elvis and stuff!” –
Clongowes Trip Quotes
From the mouths of: Caitrin, Catherine, Claire, Grace, Hannah, Harriet and Lorna
“Oh no! Now only one of us can be safe!” – On the bus down
“I might have a spare reed… it’s not broken, just a bit old!” – Caitrin
“That’s Jay, have you met him? He’s the one who deals the sauce… he goes ‘SAUCE??’” – ‘Apple Guy’
Claire: “Wow! They have trays and hot food here!”
Catherine: “You can get that in our school too Claire!”
“This guy kept poking us and asking Grace, ‘When will you be playing??’ about five times.” – Catherine, Caitrin and Grace
“When the jazzband were playing we got this drunk ninety year old priest to dance!” – 5th years
“Her face is the same colour as her hair!” – Catherine
“*crash* What, no, stop, just, uh, fuck off… I don’t believe you… Anyway!” – 5th years
“Ah I see we’re working with a 3:2 ratio here”
“Any spare balls!!”
“I play the triangle”
“Cool *laughs*”
“Yes, it’s a real instrument!”
“Yeah I know, I’d love to play it”
“But you don’t! Hahaha!”
“I grow apples!! That’s all I do!! But sometimes I eat the apples so I SHOOT THEM DOWN!! BANG BANG BANG!!!!” – ‘Apple Guy’
“Let me guess, do you play rugby?”
“Yes! That’s all there is to do here!”
Claire: “What do you play?”
3rd Year: “Trombone”
Claire: “That’s so cool”
3rd Year: “Yeah NO”
Claire: “Oh ok”
Other 3rd Year: “Ahahaha! Do you get it? Trombone! Hahaha!”
“Ok safe home girls!” (Aww he was soo nice!) – 5th year/6th year sweetie [methinks Claire – the writer-downer of these quotes – had a little crush on this “sweetie”, cos that really isn’t funny…]
5th Year: “You play… - You were in the band right? - ......... sax…?”
Caitrin: “Yes”
5th Year: “Ha! I’m a total genius!”
“I asked this girl ‘Guess what I play?’ and she went ‘Oh I know, cos I was staring at you for the whole thing… Oh not like that! …I mean, you play trumpet…”
“It was so cool the way we got lost!”
“We could have gotten more lost if I had MY way!!” – Catherine
“What year are you lot?”
“3rd year”
“What? Seriously? No, I don’t believe you! Seriously?”
“Yes!”
“You could pass for like fifth or sixth years!”
[Again Claire must have been flattered, as this is not quoteworthy – except perhaps in that it is complete bullshit, remember us in third year??]
“What do you want to do after the leaving?”
“Law”
“Law?”
“Maybe”
“Law???”
“Maybe!!”
Claire: “They’re all looking at us! You’d think they’d never seen girls before!”
Catherine: “They go to an all boys boarding school Claire!”
“We were shit, all we play is like Bach and Tchaikovsky and stuff”
“Did we ever play Tchaikovsky?”
“No, I don’t think so!”
- 5th years
“Your jazz band is class”
“Yeah”
“There are rules. NO TOUCHING!”
“Are you ripping the piss? No seriously, are you ripping the piss?” – 3rd year
“Have you heard of him? He is like a legend! He plays back on the senior Leinsters!”
“But this guy is the best in
“Omg I found A Room With A View in French! Une Chambre Avec Une Vue! AHH OMG RANDOM!!!” – Stef
“Arch-snob” – Diffley
“A foreigner! He must be a spy!” – Famous Five
“Hot buttered toast gone cold! What a crime!” – Famous Five
Singing in the Rain Quotes
“I’d rather kiss a tarantula”
“You don’t mean that”
“Hey Joe, get me a tarantula!”
“Hey Cosmo, call me a cab”
“Ok you’re a cab”
“Thanks a lot”
“QUIET!”
“(Quiet)”
“ROLL ‘EM!”
“(Roll ‘em)”
“And if you must wear fox to the opera, Dame Fashion says DYE it!”
“No! No! That was all wrong Burt! Try it again, alright Burt? BURT??”
“Goin’ t’art gallery!” – Lisa
“Who throws a shoe? Honestly? You fight like a woman!” – Austin Powers; Stephanie
“Well well, you’re a pisser!” – Joe; Stephanie
“Hey my retainer fell down the toilet, I have to ring my mom” – Stephanie
“I thought it would go ‘BANG’ and ‘BOOM’, but no, it was just ‘ooh sparkly!’” – Seth Green; Stephanie
“If I moved, he’d like die” – Sif about Fergal
“You think you’re so funny, putting in your quotes!” – Claire
“I think I’ll skip art to do art” – Stephanie
“Why do you keep looking at my feet?”
“Why do you keep looking at my crotch?”
- Every Boy’s Got One; Stephanie
“We also have no clean water because some retard with a tractor ran over our well!” – Stephanie in science
Sif: “Hahaha! Goatstown!!”
Stef: “Don’t make fun of me! When I was a kid, people made fun of me, because they said I looked after the goats in Goatstown!”
Sif: “Haha! Deprived childhood!”
“That’s so random, it’s like, oh my God…” – Lisa
“Oh my God, they’re like actual REAL snowflakes!” – Emma
“Ahh knees!” – Claire
“Girls! Stop talk! I need to collect the homeworks! Now open your books on… *fades away*” – Ms Maxwell locking herself out of the classroom
“‘Wilde always comes up! Every year! Check the past papers!’ And guess what! He didn’t come up! It’s the future papers you need!” – Des Bishop; Emma & Lisa
“She googled your ass” – Lavern, Scrubs; Stephanie
“Sucking the air out of the room!” – Meteor ad; Stephanie
“Shit guys ze missiles! Zey are coming!! Fire our shit!!”
“But I am le tired”
“Well have a nap, but then FIRE ZE MISSILES!!!!” – End of the World; Stephanie
“Ew girls with asses like mine, do not talk to guys with faces like yours” – She’s The Man
“Arrghh! There’s my *in deep voice* STAIGHRE!!” – Lisa
Ms Bradley: “Well I’m going to the staffroom until you come and tell me when you’re ready to learn!”
*returns 15 minutes later* “You didn’t come get me!”
Class: “Cos we’re not ready!”
- Science
“The his main aim… Dammit! This is what I get for being on bebo at the same time…” – Lisa reading her essay
“I ate my babies and then took shelter in my bag” – Lisa being cold
“I hate trees! So tall and arrogant!” – Emma
“CHEESE DISEASE!!!” – Stephanie
“Blah chlorine” – Lisa & Claire
“Nang blang” – Lisa & Claire
“You’re a returd! That’s right, not a retard, but a returd! Aka a retard with poo on his face!” – Claire
“10,000 sperm, and you were the fastest?” – Catherine
“Fantastic.” - Lisa
“Rising in the east, tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, rising in the east…” – Lisa & Grace
“Bless me”
“Excuse you”
- Lisa and Grace
1 comment:
“Hey my retainer fell down the toilet, I have to ring my mom” – Stephanie
best.quote.ever.
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